I was diagnosed with depression in early November and have fought an uphill battle ever since. I started medicating but experienced terrible side effects that gave me hallucinations and ‘brain ghosts’. Life didn’t really seem worth living. After a change in medication my mind has recently started to brighten and I am ever so thankful about that. This depression is one of the worst things I have ever been through. The exhaustion, the constant crying. No matter how many hours I sleep every night it never seems I get enough. I have to take naps in the day to make it through but when I wake up I don’t feel energized at all. I’ve noticed my memory isn’t quite working, I’ll be on the phone with my someone and as soon as I hang up I’ll have forgotten what the other person said. I have lost my words. I often struggle to find everyday words. It seems they have vanished from my mind. I’ll tell my husband we need to buy soap, but won’t remember the actual word ‘soap. “Alex, we need to buy… eeh. Thing! For.. hands. Washing…. Bathroom! You know? The thing.” And it’s frustrating.
Winter is still holding us firmly in its grip. My mind is ready for spring, I need the snow drops and the daffodils. Tulips. Flowers budding everywhere. I want walks in the sunshine, wearing short sleeved tops and being just a little cold. Walking in the woods with my husband and camera.
I’m right there with you, sister. You took the words right out of my mouth. I’m sorry you’ve been having a rough time. February is the worst- I just want all this over with! Just a little sunshine! Last night I realized that it wasn’t dark at 5:30 and I almost wept with joy. We’re getting there!
Lilla emmiepemmie.
Vad skönt att det börjar bli bättre.
Jag älskar dig!
<3
nu när du lägger det så, så vill jag också ha vår.
Jag har varit oförskämt nöjd med vintern i år. Tror det har med björn att göra. \o/
I’ve been away for some time, but am glad to visit your new blog & I’m sad to hear that you are not well, but at least thankfully you have a loving husband & supportive friends & lots of people who wish you well,including me! love the new blog & love the magpie theme!
hugs-vko
Vilken jobbig tid du har haft, det gör mig ont. Hoppas verkligen att ljuset och våren kommer snart så att sinnet och hjärtat kan bli gladare. All min kärlek! /Thina
Ah Emmie, I’m so very sorry to hear you’re having a rough time. Depression is a horrible thing, but I’ll be sending good thoughts your way that you can find a way to manage with it. The only real advice I can give is don’t ever feel too proud to ask for help or keep your feelings to yourself. Look after yourself lovely x
Hoppas att det ska kännas bättre nu när våren, ljuset och grönskan kommer. Det sägs ju vara läkande för själen att titta på grönt så vi får hoppas att du kan vara ute och strosa mycket i skogen. Kram på dig!